it's often i feel a_sphyxiated by anything around me. i'm sure i'm not the only one.

new xangaaa. thanks, in advance, for visiting. =]

:O happy chinese new yearrr. did you get a hong baoooo? :O

many wore red today. i actually 'forgot'... and hand-picked black... lOl. great timing indeed. hmmm. we had our chinese new year dinner last night already... everything was good but i didn't eat that much. we had crab too and then my grandpa, who's paranoid about everything, starts warning my mother and me about conspiracies regarding crabs. it was a pretty interesting lecture. 'you know at chinese restaurants they take out a live crab and ask you if it's ok and of course they take out one of the larger ones and so of course it's ok so you approve as expected and then right when they get back into the kitchen, they take one out of the freezer.' :OO scandalss. i thought it was hilarious because my grandpa got so damn angry about these DAMN SNEAKY SEAFOOD restaurants. pahaha. 'curse you! we know what you're doing with those crabs! we do not appreciate your bringing out model crabs to mock us! DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW!!' o_O gee... calm down. then it got boring so i excused myself to watch american idol, which now without the bad people, is pretty boring.

laa. because of yearbook i can't really go to the library anyway... how pathetic is that. i think i'll just stay in mr miller's room since it's quiet. i went to the asian american expo a while back and got jay chou cds... i don't like his rapping... or anyone's rapping but i like his songs that have melodies. i used to never pay much attention to him but then jacky was telling me how much he liked his concert so yea... i trusted him. haha. erm... nothing much is new. i am really stressed out, but i know i'm not the only one... hmm. i've been feeling much racism these days... grr. no more 'nice asian helpful volunteer'... do your own shit you frikin bastards. i don't appreciate your making me do your job and then laugh on the side with your friends while stuffing your face and talking about where snoop dog lives and which one of your friends got shot. but what i did enjoy about their conversation was 'huh? what's a colon?' ... 'i dont' know. wth don't ask me'... that kind of stuff makes my day.

i was walking to class today and i wondered about shadows. i often have pondered that same topic but not as much as today... so i learned about light in physics... and i wonder when the light shines for example, through the gaps between the branches onto a wall... the shadow on the wall resembles the tree's figure but since light is made of particles/waves then why aren't the places where the light is blocked darker... like black. why would some light get through thus making some shadows darker and others lighter... so then i guess it could be explained through the double-slit experiment thing i learned last year... how it diffracts and light is most likely reflected off other surrounding objects thus illuminating the shadows. one of the most interesting sights is when you see the dust floating in the air under the variant shadow of a tree... it's as if the dust follows different columns in its path. i wish i wasn't here. i hope i die in my sleep. dying from any type of attack wouldn't be as pleasant and enjoyable... i wonder what's planned for me... or what i plan for myself... i wonder if i believe in fate. i don't think i do. i'd like to but i don't think i can for some reason.

[btw. thanks to all the encouragement for the last 'post'. i'll repay that sincerety and care somehow one day. thanks.]

hmm. i don't have enough courage. how tragic it is to lack such a trait.

=__=  i don't feel like updating anymore.

but i changed my 'theme'... to battle royale. i still love japanese films... now i'm curious about battle royale II. hmm. thanks to tony for letting me borrow. =] what an interesting film to think about... so much symbolism. yay. i've seen the actress who played chigusa before... she looks so damn familiar. and kitano, the teacher, he's a really famous actor in japan... he's funny too. he's in kikujiro, which we watched millions of times in japanese class... he plays this ex-mafia guy. funny role again. i have the dvd... i might go watch it again. i remember it was so funny when everyone was obsessed with kikujiro's theme song. so funny. i even think that it was charles who found it first and everyone was super jealous. lOl. anyway... i also bought a new ayumi hamasaki cd. and i like the songs. lucky me. hmmm.

it was pretty pathetic today in english... i was, that is... i'm not used to such formal definitions... or maybe that's my excuse. -__-  i feel stupid... not that anything's changed. ummmm.... i had panda express today. and we got 3 fortune cookies [my mom and i] and my mom ate them all. i don't really like them. and the 'fortune' in my mom's was like 'slippery noodles fall through chopsticks'... umm. ok. various interpretations are probable but i thought it was amusing since 'planning ahead will bring you success' was her first one... i forgot what the last one was. now she has 21 lucky numbers [not sure if any are repeated]... lucky her.

welcome back, band/colorguard kids who show off their new d.c. sweaters.  >]
the scarves and beanies are interesting though. =]

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OOOH. that actress who played chigusa was... chiaki kuriyama! from kill bill vol. 1... the japanese girl under o-ren ishii named gogo yubari with the big spike ball whose eyes bled in the end. yay. i no longer have to wonder.

i like some songs on their new album. =]

' we're all to blame '

and ' no reason '  [ of course their most popular, 'pieces,' too(which is playing now)] even if there's screaming. x]  they cheered me up. ' we're all to blame ' is on purevolume... can't dL it though. xP i'm sure it's on those illegal dLing sites... not that i'm suggesting it. i want to dye my hair black/red. AND i am happy to report that i am going to order french toast at ihop tomorrow morning... unless i feel like ordering something else. anyway...

i hope the band & colorguard come 'home' safely. hehe.